Follow Up...

Oh.. Its 720pm now! Getting closer to 730pm! I guess I should remember the reason behind this post? Or rather remembering the event?

I believe the new tutor has reached and most of the students have reached the centre as well. So my unglam story will SPREAD and almost everyone in the centre will know as I know she's that kind of person that will verbal diarrhoea to anyone she can get.

I guess by looking the way I phrase my sentences should divulge my mood at this point of time? So in a way I have let down the matter, moving on... All credits go to Sara! Meeting up with her is always a pleasure thing, and I have learnt a new term from her! Hahaha. That is 'verbal diarrhoea".

I seriously need a person to tell me or analyze the situation that I was in about whether the way I do things or behave, or my attitude etc in this matter. And Sara IS the person came in time.

I really feel that I am lost somehow because of this matter, as I have gotten lots of feedbacks and comments about myself. I would say its a good thing as it allow me to grow up faster.

Looking at things optimisticcally should be the way right? Rather than live unhappy everyday, live life to the fullest and in a happy way! So I should be correct to be the way I am now. Hehe.

Really thank you Sara! Love you lots! Jia you for your degree!

End of Story? I hope so..

Okay. Finally this story is coming to an end. But will it be a start to another event? I hope not.

I went down to the tuition centre to sort out some administrative stuff to handle over my job. Initially the attitude was like normal, talking a little. But when I started to explain the paper work, she started to get angry as well.

As I revealed one by one of the untouched materials (total there are 4 stacks), she got madder and madder. She said that "Why do you want to print the next topic when you have not even finish one? You think I am a printing company is it?" in a very furious tone.

I mean I could have clear those bad log if I am able to stay with them for a year. I will not leave those untouched teaching materials behind when I requested it. But I know that her mood was bloody boiling and so throughout her scoldings, I kept mum. I have the thinking of just letting her to scold me. In a way I am answerable to myself that I had at least taught the students what they required previously. In addition, I understand that she is taking up all these shit left by me so I did not have the right to say anything. So I just let her vent her unhappiness out.

I wasn't feeling very unhappy or even much disturbed after her lecture. In fact, I am glad that I have left that place, but it was my first time leaving a working place leaving such a bad impression behind. I am just disappointed by myself. But all these wasn't under my control!

She said that I need to hand her the topics notes and worksheet once I have gone through. But hello, you didn't tell me! And when I told her there are mistakes in the questions she said highlight the mistakes in red and she will look through it and make the changes.

Not only this, she asked my why are there extra copies? She claimed that she always printed exactly. Hey hey, are u sure u did not make any mistakes at all? I made, I admit and I deserve comments/lectures from you. But now for those I didn't, I took it up too.

I suddenly felt lost. In a way what is my bottomline in enduring such stuff and what kind of person I am actually? The way I do things etc. It set me thinking. And I even felt nothing even she shouted at me:"You are terrible!".

I really couldn't comprehend and I want to post it now so that I am able to see what I was experiencing actually after a talk with sara tomorrow. Hope she is able to help me!

23rd Feb 2011

Something happened yesterday and I feel uneasy even up till now.



The uneasiness actually started from 21st February, 2011, Monday 8.16pm when my tution boss called. She talked about the issue again, and only up till yesterday when I met her, had a face-to-face chat then I know what she wanted all along. She wanted an appologize from me.


I knew it only when she told me, repeated at least twice. She even brought up an example of another tutor saying that that tutor appologized. So basically she just needs that 'Sorry'!


I do not understand why she needs that appologize, but I just knew she wanted and needed it so I said it.

I do not like the fact that she brought up another example just to show that I need to do the same. In addition, she said that she could not communicate with me as we do not share or have the same consensus. I disagree.

Firstly, I do not think that I am hard to communicate when I am already easy-going, I won't say I am very easy-going. Secondly, when she told me that I should not have disclosed that, I have stopped keeping in contact with her clients and even refrained myself from connecting to her clients on facebook. She told me that she does not want to hear all these.

So I appologized, she accepted it, but i do not know if she would replace me with another tutor. I even broke down as usual, even predicted myself to have broken down and getting a scolding. To be frank, initially I tried turning down this assignment but she kept me. So I have the thinking right from the start:"I am just waiting for you to sack me.".

However, that is not applicable to this situation as I did not poached any of her clients or do anything unethical. I just want her to believe me that I will not, ever, to her clients.

One more point from yesterday conversation. Some of the clients' parents called and complained that the clients were not doing anything for the past 2 lessons excluding the one this week, neglecting them. I was shocked. Giving the students a chance to slack, helping the other weaker students and reinforcing their knowledge during these times they did not appreciate. Fine enough, they are just preaching what they had said.

I did not talk to anyone about this matter; finding no one suitable to hear my problem as some are busy and some are not that close yet. I feel much better now after typing all these, as if I have talked to someone. Glad that I have kept this blog on, a way for me to relieve my problems and stress.

I have signed up another tution assignment; the same coordinator is handling this assignment. I just hoped that she will not bad-mouth me, so as to increase my chance of getting the new assignment. Let me hope... God bless me please.

11 May 2010

I have been wanting to say something since last week. And that is I feel that Ann Kay and Huisi have become like my family members from friends!!!

I got the feeling as a family member of them after a few events. Firstly, its with regards to Qian Qian's 21st birthday present. Inititally I bought the gifts and kept them in my house. But for whatever reasons, I just can't seem to find them on the day of the birthday celebration. I panicked and my mood just gone bad as time was pressing against us, having to think of solutions and to get things done.

I called ann kay and told her about it. Sure enough, being a good friend, she comforted me and we thought of alternatives. We solved the problem, but wanting to add a birthday card. Okay, we set to meet bugis. However, she kept me waiting at the station when during the waiting time, I could have went up to buy the birthday card already; saving some time and set off to the celebration.

I was totally in a bad mood even though we managed to get things done. We didn't speak much in the train until I realised ann kay was standing beside me silently, not raising any doubts on my anger for sometime.

The next moment, I appologised. And I confessed to her that I am very grateful for her unstanding all these while and thanks her for staying beside me even when I nearly flared up.

This is not everyone will do! I must say.

Since then, I guess our friendship has improved furhter, to family memeber status! I feel the bonding was even stronger after last monday, when my last paper ended. Ann Kay and Huisi last minute pang seh me on that day. I went into bad mood again. That was because that was my last paper and of course the urge to go out was the strongest! But I was being pang seh. I was angry with the both of them. They knew it. So they appologised to me. I didn't bother to reply them as usually when I am angry with someone, I don't feel like talking to them, explaining to them or knowing anything related them.

I didn't sms them for a day I think. Then somehow we went out on Wednesday to bugis again. Haha. And none of us remember what had happened and we just chat as usual when we met. Its only after a while that I realised that I was still angry with her only after we have met.

This is the kind of situation that only happens in my family at least. So from this incident, I have affirmed that we are now like sisters, as close as real sisters...

So everything its just like 'There is no overnight grudge between family members'. :)

And I would like to take this chance to say that, I really don't mind when I said I am waiting patiently and don't mind waiting for you ann kay!!! Muacks!!!

Continue...

On the past Monday, I treated her badly as a friend initally for the day. As I remembered the hurt that i had becasue of her. But I still toned down as she took the initiative to send me sms when I was late for lecture. She still regards me as a more than normal friend.

When the 2nd lecture break comes, she wanted to photocopy notes again. We went to the toilet but I wanted to look for Si Jia so leave her alone to Co-op. I seemed harsh on my tone but I was tired on the other hand.

To her she thinks that I am really tired so do not have the mood to joke or laugh. But in fact, it is because I bear some grudges against her. Nevertheless, I am fine with her after some time.

On the same day, as usual, I took xiao bai's car back. He told me our job is done and the rest is up to them to continue. There's a question in my head. Did someone told him to say that or is he really thinking that way? Well, though i'm really curious but i believe xiao bai won't tell me the truth in order to protect his friend. So, no point asking.

XIAOYUE!! Don't think abt it anymore already! Its none of your business!!!! Yes, this is what i have been telling myself. And hopefully I will be able to forget this soon. Mug Mug and mug!!!

In addition, there's another shocking news. I should be more worried in the people affected by this news rather than other unneccesary stuff.