Almost every Saturday now have been playing indoor volleyball with the volleyball khakis. They all say time flies for our volleyball sessions. Haha.
Today we went to Yuying Secondary School for our indoor volleyball session, I took Jun Ping's car from Toa Payoh as usual. He took a route that brought back memories that reminded me of my father. Instantly, few drops of tears generated. Took out my towel and dried it. Not sure if Jun Ping saw it through his rear mirror but cannot be helped even if he saw it.
The route was so familar because that was the route my father used to drove my mother and I to his otah making place. Almost every Saturday as well. The place was still as usual, just that the place now was completed with all the works for the MRT, buildings etc.
We witnessed the surroundings of the route from making an underpass at Bradell Road, the setting up of one the institution along the route and the paving of way for MRT to be up. The route was filled with works before and now that the MRT is up, road is fully completed. The whole process I guess took almost a few years.
Things have changed, but people is no longer the same. Dont know if I will hate going to Yuying Secondary for volleyball sessions. :) Because I may sob everytime I pass by the same route.
By the way, its pouring heavily now in my area and I feel like "pouring" also. Seems that both always come together.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
His Wake-17th April 2012
This was the last day of his wake, and we have planned to set off at 10am because we need to reach the crematorium by 11am. We were told to report by 8am. Before I went down, my eldest sister wanted to pass me some amount of money collected to alleviate her responsibility.
I agreed then she told me she would pass 1K to my second sister and me. Then under some confusion, she passed me less than 2K for 2 persons. Didn't want to interrupt her because she was in a rush and when i wanted to speak, she asked me to let her focus on her stuff first. Okay, I will just take note of how much you passed to me.
When I was down, the 'ang mo' band as we called was setting up already. This 'ang mo' band can only be asked by son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws. So very naturally my second bro-in-law was asked to be responsible for this (payment). I find it hilarious because one moment we say my second sister is still considered single because she and her husband by law have not hold their chinese customary yet. But now asking my bro-in-law would mean my second sister is married. Lol really.
The band played quite a few sad songs and my tears flowed out as I listened to the sad music. Then, we prayed our last respect and viewed at him in person for the last time before they closed the casing of the coffin. I saw his expression was sad, my second sister saw it too. When we both saw it, we cried out instantly. We continuted to cry as we sat down beside him, to wait for all relatives and friends to finish taking their last look at him as well.
One of my uncles is very nice, he came for all the 4 days and even drive us to the crematorium, followed closely behind the car driving my father's body to allow us to be able to send my father all the way.
My father's old gang friends- the representative and a few followers came and we need to thank them for coming again as they toast to my father-my uncle was the person to toast the wine to my dad.
Lastly at my block, was to carry the coffin to the car. The uncle whom I just described took part as well. Didnt know he is so enthusiastic in helping out to my father, wondered what they have undergone together bridging the strong relationship between them.
Next, we started the 'parade', walked all the way from the carpark to a bus stop. As we walked we cried. This is really the last time we are going to be with my father physically. And we know he felt sad also from the expression just now.
In the past I used to imagine what will happen when either my mum or dad goes and just by imagination I almost cried uncontrollably. Now, it is really happening.
We even watched the coffin being sent into the incinerator and we need to shout for him to leave his body in fear of his spirit will get destroyed by the high heat. That marks the end of his wake. We can only collect his ashes in the afternoon at 3pm.
We went back and the workers were already started to clear up. Leaving behind only a few tables for us to have our lunch and of course, making the payment.
After lunch our relatives left and I packed some fruits offered to 神仙 the day before for Ann Kay to bring home for her mum as a way to clear the stuff left behind. She also left after the lunch because there is nothing she can do also staying behind and she has her exams coming up as well like me. Really thank her for coming down to be with me to ensure that I feel okay.
When we finally brought all the stuff back home, one of the uncles in charge of the wake, 阿松uncle dropped by to return us S$100. He was nagged by our cousin to charge cheaper and something like that so he had to make this trip.
Then we all took a nap until about 2pm to prepare to set off back to the crematorium to collect my dad's ashes. We were like immediately into sleeping mode after lying down because we did not even say goodbye to our orangey cousin as we have slept already. But I know he understands that we were all very tired and have got things upcoming also for us to do.
At the crematorium there, the ashes were in a rectangular tray. Then the worker started to pick out few pieces and these pieces were the skull of my father. We dropped a few coins into the urn and the person started to transfer the remains into the urn. Lastly, we each picked a piece of the skull and place inside to signify the head is on top and followed by the rest of the parts of his body.
My eldest sister then carry the urn to the place my father was assigned to. My second sister and I both had impressions on going to the same place before but could not remember if my grandma was placed here. To find my grandma's ashes was one of the task we have to do if lets say my ancestors would want a shift of place.
We saw the person shifted the other urns in the same row and somehow squeezed my father's urn into the row. We took a look at the surroundings and we were on our way home.
At our neighbourhood, my met the auntie who told us that my father leaves 3 meals for us by choosing that time to part with us. She told us to go cut our hair on this day if not will need to wait for 100 days to be over before we can get our hair cut. She also told us to buy 七色花 and lemon cut into 7 slices to bathe 意思意思 signifying getting rid of the bad luck we were under when we were having the wake.
Elders told us to buy sweets for friends and colleagues who have sent their regards down as a way of thanking them. I followed my second sister to Fairprice to buy the sweets. We passed by a bread shop and bought a few new breads to lighten the atmosphere back at home. We gathered together for awhile in the living room to chat and then I went to bathe and I think I went to sleep quite early to make up for the lost sleep in the past few days.
I agreed then she told me she would pass 1K to my second sister and me. Then under some confusion, she passed me less than 2K for 2 persons. Didn't want to interrupt her because she was in a rush and when i wanted to speak, she asked me to let her focus on her stuff first. Okay, I will just take note of how much you passed to me.
When I was down, the 'ang mo' band as we called was setting up already. This 'ang mo' band can only be asked by son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws. So very naturally my second bro-in-law was asked to be responsible for this (payment). I find it hilarious because one moment we say my second sister is still considered single because she and her husband by law have not hold their chinese customary yet. But now asking my bro-in-law would mean my second sister is married. Lol really.
The band played quite a few sad songs and my tears flowed out as I listened to the sad music. Then, we prayed our last respect and viewed at him in person for the last time before they closed the casing of the coffin. I saw his expression was sad, my second sister saw it too. When we both saw it, we cried out instantly. We continuted to cry as we sat down beside him, to wait for all relatives and friends to finish taking their last look at him as well.
One of my uncles is very nice, he came for all the 4 days and even drive us to the crematorium, followed closely behind the car driving my father's body to allow us to be able to send my father all the way.
My father's old gang friends- the representative and a few followers came and we need to thank them for coming again as they toast to my father-my uncle was the person to toast the wine to my dad.
Lastly at my block, was to carry the coffin to the car. The uncle whom I just described took part as well. Didnt know he is so enthusiastic in helping out to my father, wondered what they have undergone together bridging the strong relationship between them.
Next, we started the 'parade', walked all the way from the carpark to a bus stop. As we walked we cried. This is really the last time we are going to be with my father physically. And we know he felt sad also from the expression just now.
In the past I used to imagine what will happen when either my mum or dad goes and just by imagination I almost cried uncontrollably. Now, it is really happening.
We even watched the coffin being sent into the incinerator and we need to shout for him to leave his body in fear of his spirit will get destroyed by the high heat. That marks the end of his wake. We can only collect his ashes in the afternoon at 3pm.
We went back and the workers were already started to clear up. Leaving behind only a few tables for us to have our lunch and of course, making the payment.
After lunch our relatives left and I packed some fruits offered to 神仙 the day before for Ann Kay to bring home for her mum as a way to clear the stuff left behind. She also left after the lunch because there is nothing she can do also staying behind and she has her exams coming up as well like me. Really thank her for coming down to be with me to ensure that I feel okay.
When we finally brought all the stuff back home, one of the uncles in charge of the wake, 阿松uncle dropped by to return us S$100. He was nagged by our cousin to charge cheaper and something like that so he had to make this trip.
Then we all took a nap until about 2pm to prepare to set off back to the crematorium to collect my dad's ashes. We were like immediately into sleeping mode after lying down because we did not even say goodbye to our orangey cousin as we have slept already. But I know he understands that we were all very tired and have got things upcoming also for us to do.
At the crematorium there, the ashes were in a rectangular tray. Then the worker started to pick out few pieces and these pieces were the skull of my father. We dropped a few coins into the urn and the person started to transfer the remains into the urn. Lastly, we each picked a piece of the skull and place inside to signify the head is on top and followed by the rest of the parts of his body.
My eldest sister then carry the urn to the place my father was assigned to. My second sister and I both had impressions on going to the same place before but could not remember if my grandma was placed here. To find my grandma's ashes was one of the task we have to do if lets say my ancestors would want a shift of place.
We saw the person shifted the other urns in the same row and somehow squeezed my father's urn into the row. We took a look at the surroundings and we were on our way home.
At our neighbourhood, my met the auntie who told us that my father leaves 3 meals for us by choosing that time to part with us. She told us to go cut our hair on this day if not will need to wait for 100 days to be over before we can get our hair cut. She also told us to buy 七色花 and lemon cut into 7 slices to bathe 意思意思 signifying getting rid of the bad luck we were under when we were having the wake.
Elders told us to buy sweets for friends and colleagues who have sent their regards down as a way of thanking them. I followed my second sister to Fairprice to buy the sweets. We passed by a bread shop and bought a few new breads to lighten the atmosphere back at home. We gathered together for awhile in the living room to chat and then I went to bathe and I think I went to sleep quite early to make up for the lost sleep in the past few days.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
His Wake- 16 April 2012
Woke up in the morning to take over the shift about 7am. When I went down, my mum has already bought coffee for my dad already. NB. When I was on night shift the first day she did not come down so early lor. When her cow daughter on shift she went down so early. Didnt have any arguments about it, just a casual comment from me.
It was quiet in the morning, nobody came until one of my mum's employer, Ms Tan came at about 10 plus am. The people to set up the ritual for today arrived as well and my cousin came personally to set up. We are so lucky to have him (from the management according to one of the uncles) to set up for us. My cousin gave instructions down to make sure the wake is properly held caused the uncles to be in charge very stress. Lol.
Around noon, I saw Ronald and Weilie first, they were waiting near the carpark for Saraphina and Yonglin. They are all my poly mates, saraphina particulary close friend. I went out with her once to care about her because just the week before lunar chinese new year this year, her grandma passed away and she is quite close to her grandma.
From that outing I got to know that her grandma was hospitalized in the month of November 2011 as well and on the same level as my dad! But I did not tell her about it during that outing because I really do not know how to break the news about father to anyone and so rather not tell anyone.
She cried as she talked about her grandma as well, and I cried with her along because I know I would have someone leaving me soon also and so understood her feelings.
Until this day then probably she realized why I cried along with her. When I met up with her I felt sad because I was not beside her when she needed friends around and now she felt the same way. Very nice of Weilie and Ronald to drop by because I did not inform them first hand, Saraphina told Weilie about it during a church meeting and news spreaded.
Then we talked about some uni stuff and they left also. Because I need to gather by about 230pm for the finale (ritual) to start.
The ritual starting is more on 念经 and doesnt really need us to be there all the way. But towards the night, my sisters and I were really stuck in it all the way except for an half an hour break. The finale of the ritual could say its the busiest night of all and also the last night.
I know Huisi and Ann Kay said they are coming again because Huisi couldnt join me the next day because her work has started so she wanted to come this night to make up for it. I roughly remembered that she know Yuying because once she joined Yuying and me for a jog at Toa Payoh Stadium. So I asked Huisi for help in entertaining Yuying and Yu Han when they come.
Wan Ling, Sherlyn and Alan Eng came around 930pm which I was able to catch them. The same to Yuying and Yu Han, I roughly summarized the past 5 months plus updates for them and appologized for not able to talk to them properly.
After all has ended, I have alot of meet ups to do with all these people who came for my father's wake to thank them. :)
Soon, I got back into the ritual for the last part and after it we were really exhausted. One of my uncles came to help us to take charge on the last night and so my sisters and I were able to rest for the next day. In the end we talked till about 3am then we went to sleep. My orangey cousin was also here accompanying my uncle through the night.
It was quiet in the morning, nobody came until one of my mum's employer, Ms Tan came at about 10 plus am. The people to set up the ritual for today arrived as well and my cousin came personally to set up. We are so lucky to have him (from the management according to one of the uncles) to set up for us. My cousin gave instructions down to make sure the wake is properly held caused the uncles to be in charge very stress. Lol.
Around noon, I saw Ronald and Weilie first, they were waiting near the carpark for Saraphina and Yonglin. They are all my poly mates, saraphina particulary close friend. I went out with her once to care about her because just the week before lunar chinese new year this year, her grandma passed away and she is quite close to her grandma.
From that outing I got to know that her grandma was hospitalized in the month of November 2011 as well and on the same level as my dad! But I did not tell her about it during that outing because I really do not know how to break the news about father to anyone and so rather not tell anyone.
She cried as she talked about her grandma as well, and I cried with her along because I know I would have someone leaving me soon also and so understood her feelings.
Until this day then probably she realized why I cried along with her. When I met up with her I felt sad because I was not beside her when she needed friends around and now she felt the same way. Very nice of Weilie and Ronald to drop by because I did not inform them first hand, Saraphina told Weilie about it during a church meeting and news spreaded.
Then we talked about some uni stuff and they left also. Because I need to gather by about 230pm for the finale (ritual) to start.
The ritual starting is more on 念经 and doesnt really need us to be there all the way. But towards the night, my sisters and I were really stuck in it all the way except for an half an hour break. The finale of the ritual could say its the busiest night of all and also the last night.
I know Huisi and Ann Kay said they are coming again because Huisi couldnt join me the next day because her work has started so she wanted to come this night to make up for it. I roughly remembered that she know Yuying because once she joined Yuying and me for a jog at Toa Payoh Stadium. So I asked Huisi for help in entertaining Yuying and Yu Han when they come.
Wan Ling, Sherlyn and Alan Eng came around 930pm which I was able to catch them. The same to Yuying and Yu Han, I roughly summarized the past 5 months plus updates for them and appologized for not able to talk to them properly.
After all has ended, I have alot of meet ups to do with all these people who came for my father's wake to thank them. :)
Soon, I got back into the ritual for the last part and after it we were really exhausted. One of my uncles came to help us to take charge on the last night and so my sisters and I were able to rest for the next day. In the end we talked till about 3am then we went to sleep. My orangey cousin was also here accompanying my uncle through the night.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
His Wake-15 April 2012
I can't recall what time I went down, only remembered I was hungry by the time I went down and was ordered to buy some food back also for the 小瓜 in the whole household. He ordered a packet of fishball noodles with fishball only.
When I went down, I saw my grandma and I went to call her. She immediately let out again. Haix. Last night I brought down a cushion and a seat supporter because my back feels a bit sore after sat down for too long and my grandma was sitting with the seat supporter. My mum and sisters commented I was crazy to have brought down those but now got people appreciate it. Heh.
This night some of my volleyball friends came down and I updated them what had happened and account to them especially elson. Because since december last year, he has asked me what had happened but I did not tell him. Then subsequently he asked me again just the day before my dad passed away. That time I revealed to him because I couldnt post on facebook to announce to everyone and so have to rely on him to help me to spread the message.
After they left, Grace and Amos came. I messaged Grace because she asked me out for a few times to drink but I rejected all because I didnt have the feeling to and felt quite bad to her. We talked abit about lester as well and then its quite late already also and they left.
I was nearly on night shift again for this night but in the end my second sister said she couldn't fall asleep and became that I was able sleep during the night finally. This was good also because Sara (poly friends) will come around noon on 16 April, next day.
When I went down, I saw my grandma and I went to call her. She immediately let out again. Haix. Last night I brought down a cushion and a seat supporter because my back feels a bit sore after sat down for too long and my grandma was sitting with the seat supporter. My mum and sisters commented I was crazy to have brought down those but now got people appreciate it. Heh.
This night some of my volleyball friends came down and I updated them what had happened and account to them especially elson. Because since december last year, he has asked me what had happened but I did not tell him. Then subsequently he asked me again just the day before my dad passed away. That time I revealed to him because I couldnt post on facebook to announce to everyone and so have to rely on him to help me to spread the message.
After they left, Grace and Amos came. I messaged Grace because she asked me out for a few times to drink but I rejected all because I didnt have the feeling to and felt quite bad to her. We talked abit about lester as well and then its quite late already also and they left.
I was nearly on night shift again for this night but in the end my second sister said she couldn't fall asleep and became that I was able sleep during the night finally. This was good also because Sara (poly friends) will come around noon on 16 April, next day.
His Wake-14 April 2012
While on the way back from the hospital, my mum immediately called my eldest uncle and reported to him what had happened. Initially we wanted a 3 days wake if possible so it would end on a Monday. But later pushed to 4 days wake as the party in charge of the funeral was not able to get the things done for us.
We had our breakfast, and my eldest uncle came. He sobbed a bit, his eyes were red. My mum assigned him to take care of the 白金 (money collected for the wake) as we did not have a better candidate. Though I don't really approve of letting him to participate in the decision making of my father's wake. Because he is from the older generation that may do things that we don't really think its needed and may even post additional problems to us. But settled already I also kept mum and as long as he don't stepped over the line I'm okay.
Around 10am, there were people coming to set up the wake already. And meanwhile my dad was sent to have some powder on on his face to look more presentable and fitted with a formal suit. My second sister and mum selected a photo of him few days back and the photo was touched up to make the photo nicer. I kept a small copy of it now in my wallet.
About 11am, the 3 of us had to be dressed to receive him here-to complete the arriving process of him. We knelt down, I poured a drop of coffee onto the floor as told, we shouted for him asking him back to come back drink coffee to make sure he is following his body back.
As the setting was setting up, many people were viewing at us thinking who had passed away. Then there is this auntie came to know about this matter and told my mum which my mum told us after that that my father chose to leave us in the morning because he wants to 留三顿 for us-make sure we had enough to eat. This made me to have even more conclusions about my dad's departure.
This auntie is the first to give money. After completed the first "ritual" process, the next thing to do on hand was to fold 20 bags of incense paper to make sure the paper house, car and etc were able to burn completely and also to make sure my dad has sufficient money to make his way for reincarnation. There were 2 uncles from the funeral service who are very nice and approachable, they helped us to fold the incense paper.
My mum, second sister and bro in law started to fold the incense paper as well but I went back to complete my MIDI file due that night. I sent out a sms at 12:32 pm to a few close vball friends from NUS, my close poly female mates and Huisi and Ann Kay.
Huisi and Ann Kay called and asked about me. All replied back me but I only replied to those who are making their way down because I did not have the time to reply them one by one. Huisi said she wanna come down immediately. So nice of her. But I told her I was not around because completing my MIDI assignment first. Actually if I did not have any ideas to complete the MIDI assignment I was prepared to forsake this part of the assignment. But towards the end since I started with it and I was somewhat confident that I can complete so I went on doing it. But was so sleepy and hungry that I fell asleep and napped for about 2 hours on the floor. Woke up feeling so badly-health was in a bad state due to insufficient sleep and had my lunch first.
After my lunch was somewhat recharged and quickly went on to complete the 20 seconds MIDI file! I told Huisi I would be done around evening time and I really completed by around 4pm. Uploaded the file and I off my laptop.
Went down to start helping finally as I want to do my part for my father. A few neighbours already dropped by and then Huisi came. She is the first of my friends and my sisters' friends, colleagues to have dropped by. She passed me a S$50 note when she has just finished her last year poly exams. She also helped in folding the incense paper. By the end of the day, she stayed till about 2am before she left for her auntie's house at Boon Keng, she completed a bag all by herself. :D
My relatives came one by one and my dearest 2 cousins, Orangey and Kane came because their mum, my auntie sent them down to represent first and my auntie still had unfinished housework to do. Lol.
Ann Kay, a close friend since secondary school, had arguments with her sometime back before but now reconciled stayed overnight with me and also helped in folding the incense paper. More importanly, 15 April is her birthday. She celebrated her birthday before coming over and she did not mind spending her first moments of her 2012 birthday at my father's wake. It was also the first time that Huisi and I accompanied her spending the first moments (after 12 midnight) together. Really its the first time the 3 of us stayed together for someone's birthday. Quite awkard to me but really appreciate the moment.
Huisi reached home safely and she was on the phone when she biked home to ensure she is okay throughout the journey.
When they came, I actually did not fill them in about the past 5 months or so. It was only until when we were having supper then I told them what had happened.
So we need to fold 20 bags of incense paper, the kind of big rubbish plastic bag, was the mission to complete within 3 days or so. But in the end my bro in law, my eldest sister's boyfriend and 2 cousins gathered to play mahjong. I wasnt really happy about it because I feel that they should be helping in the mission but I never say anything about it. Being here they are already being very nice already and they did help in folding the incense paper. So treat the mahjong session as their reward.
If ann kay wasnt here to stay overnight, I think I would have been sleeping for the first night of the wake as my cousins can help to offer incense to my father. But I think I would stay over also because I feel its better for the daughters to offer incense personally.
Ann Kay left at about 6am to take cab after the midnight charging session and she was tired also. I accompanied her to take cab and I went back. My cousins and Jeremy went back too. My bro in law and me were waiting for my mum to be back to bring the coffee down! Every morning we need to replace a basin of water, wet the towel, replace fresh coffee, a 大菜 and a bowl of white rice by latest 10am to ask my father to wake up to get washed up.
When I got home, I really don't mind to brew coffee for my father but my mum just said go and buy one packet back. But I don't have the energy to do it. Then my eldests sister woke up and fiercely asked me to go and sleep. Okay lor, don't argue with them too much and I went for my sleep liao.
We had our breakfast, and my eldest uncle came. He sobbed a bit, his eyes were red. My mum assigned him to take care of the 白金 (money collected for the wake) as we did not have a better candidate. Though I don't really approve of letting him to participate in the decision making of my father's wake. Because he is from the older generation that may do things that we don't really think its needed and may even post additional problems to us. But settled already I also kept mum and as long as he don't stepped over the line I'm okay.
Around 10am, there were people coming to set up the wake already. And meanwhile my dad was sent to have some powder on on his face to look more presentable and fitted with a formal suit. My second sister and mum selected a photo of him few days back and the photo was touched up to make the photo nicer. I kept a small copy of it now in my wallet.
About 11am, the 3 of us had to be dressed to receive him here-to complete the arriving process of him. We knelt down, I poured a drop of coffee onto the floor as told, we shouted for him asking him back to come back drink coffee to make sure he is following his body back.
As the setting was setting up, many people were viewing at us thinking who had passed away. Then there is this auntie came to know about this matter and told my mum which my mum told us after that that my father chose to leave us in the morning because he wants to 留三顿 for us-make sure we had enough to eat. This made me to have even more conclusions about my dad's departure.
This auntie is the first to give money. After completed the first "ritual" process, the next thing to do on hand was to fold 20 bags of incense paper to make sure the paper house, car and etc were able to burn completely and also to make sure my dad has sufficient money to make his way for reincarnation. There were 2 uncles from the funeral service who are very nice and approachable, they helped us to fold the incense paper.
My mum, second sister and bro in law started to fold the incense paper as well but I went back to complete my MIDI file due that night. I sent out a sms at 12:32 pm to a few close vball friends from NUS, my close poly female mates and Huisi and Ann Kay.
Huisi and Ann Kay called and asked about me. All replied back me but I only replied to those who are making their way down because I did not have the time to reply them one by one. Huisi said she wanna come down immediately. So nice of her. But I told her I was not around because completing my MIDI assignment first. Actually if I did not have any ideas to complete the MIDI assignment I was prepared to forsake this part of the assignment. But towards the end since I started with it and I was somewhat confident that I can complete so I went on doing it. But was so sleepy and hungry that I fell asleep and napped for about 2 hours on the floor. Woke up feeling so badly-health was in a bad state due to insufficient sleep and had my lunch first.
After my lunch was somewhat recharged and quickly went on to complete the 20 seconds MIDI file! I told Huisi I would be done around evening time and I really completed by around 4pm. Uploaded the file and I off my laptop.
Went down to start helping finally as I want to do my part for my father. A few neighbours already dropped by and then Huisi came. She is the first of my friends and my sisters' friends, colleagues to have dropped by. She passed me a S$50 note when she has just finished her last year poly exams. She also helped in folding the incense paper. By the end of the day, she stayed till about 2am before she left for her auntie's house at Boon Keng, she completed a bag all by herself. :D
My relatives came one by one and my dearest 2 cousins, Orangey and Kane came because their mum, my auntie sent them down to represent first and my auntie still had unfinished housework to do. Lol.
Ann Kay, a close friend since secondary school, had arguments with her sometime back before but now reconciled stayed overnight with me and also helped in folding the incense paper. More importanly, 15 April is her birthday. She celebrated her birthday before coming over and she did not mind spending her first moments of her 2012 birthday at my father's wake. It was also the first time that Huisi and I accompanied her spending the first moments (after 12 midnight) together. Really its the first time the 3 of us stayed together for someone's birthday. Quite awkard to me but really appreciate the moment.
Huisi reached home safely and she was on the phone when she biked home to ensure she is okay throughout the journey.
When they came, I actually did not fill them in about the past 5 months or so. It was only until when we were having supper then I told them what had happened.
So we need to fold 20 bags of incense paper, the kind of big rubbish plastic bag, was the mission to complete within 3 days or so. But in the end my bro in law, my eldest sister's boyfriend and 2 cousins gathered to play mahjong. I wasnt really happy about it because I feel that they should be helping in the mission but I never say anything about it. Being here they are already being very nice already and they did help in folding the incense paper. So treat the mahjong session as their reward.
If ann kay wasnt here to stay overnight, I think I would have been sleeping for the first night of the wake as my cousins can help to offer incense to my father. But I think I would stay over also because I feel its better for the daughters to offer incense personally.
Ann Kay left at about 6am to take cab after the midnight charging session and she was tired also. I accompanied her to take cab and I went back. My cousins and Jeremy went back too. My bro in law and me were waiting for my mum to be back to bring the coffee down! Every morning we need to replace a basin of water, wet the towel, replace fresh coffee, a 大菜 and a bowl of white rice by latest 10am to ask my father to wake up to get washed up.
When I got home, I really don't mind to brew coffee for my father but my mum just said go and buy one packet back. But I don't have the energy to do it. Then my eldests sister woke up and fiercely asked me to go and sleep. Okay lor, don't argue with them too much and I went for my sleep liao.
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