This was the last day of his wake, and we have planned to set off at 10am because we need to reach the crematorium by 11am. We were told to report by 8am. Before I went down, my eldest sister wanted to pass me some amount of money collected to alleviate her responsibility.
I agreed then she told me she would pass 1K to my second sister and me. Then under some confusion, she passed me less than 2K for 2 persons. Didn't want to interrupt her because she was in a rush and when i wanted to speak, she asked me to let her focus on her stuff first. Okay, I will just take note of how much you passed to me.
When I was down, the 'ang mo' band as we called was setting up already. This 'ang mo' band can only be asked by son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws. So very naturally my second bro-in-law was asked to be responsible for this (payment). I find it hilarious because one moment we say my second sister is still considered single because she and her husband by law have not hold their chinese customary yet. But now asking my bro-in-law would mean my second sister is married. Lol really.
The band played quite a few sad songs and my tears flowed out as I listened to the sad music. Then, we prayed our last respect and viewed at him in person for the last time before they closed the casing of the coffin. I saw his expression was sad, my second sister saw it too. When we both saw it, we cried out instantly. We continuted to cry as we sat down beside him, to wait for all relatives and friends to finish taking their last look at him as well.
One of my uncles is very nice, he came for all the 4 days and even drive us to the crematorium, followed closely behind the car driving my father's body to allow us to be able to send my father all the way.
My father's old gang friends- the representative and a few followers came and we need to thank them for coming again as they toast to my father-my uncle was the person to toast the wine to my dad.
Lastly at my block, was to carry the coffin to the car. The uncle whom I just described took part as well. Didnt know he is so enthusiastic in helping out to my father, wondered what they have undergone together bridging the strong relationship between them.
Next, we started the 'parade', walked all the way from the carpark to a bus stop. As we walked we cried. This is really the last time we are going to be with my father physically. And we know he felt sad also from the expression just now.
In the past I used to imagine what will happen when either my mum or dad goes and just by imagination I almost cried uncontrollably. Now, it is really happening.
We even watched the coffin being sent into the incinerator and we need to shout for him to leave his body in fear of his spirit will get destroyed by the high heat. That marks the end of his wake. We can only collect his ashes in the afternoon at 3pm.
We went back and the workers were already started to clear up. Leaving behind only a few tables for us to have our lunch and of course, making the payment.
After lunch our relatives left and I packed some fruits offered to 神仙 the day before for Ann Kay to bring home for her mum as a way to clear the stuff left behind. She also left after the lunch because there is nothing she can do also staying behind and she has her exams coming up as well like me. Really thank her for coming down to be with me to ensure that I feel okay.
When we finally brought all the stuff back home, one of the uncles in charge of the wake, 阿松uncle dropped by to return us S$100. He was nagged by our cousin to charge cheaper and something like that so he had to make this trip.
Then we all took a nap until about 2pm to prepare to set off back to the crematorium to collect my dad's ashes. We were like immediately into sleeping mode after lying down because we did not even say goodbye to our orangey cousin as we have slept already. But I know he understands that we were all very tired and have got things upcoming also for us to do.
At the crematorium there, the ashes were in a rectangular tray. Then the worker started to pick out few pieces and these pieces were the skull of my father. We dropped a few coins into the urn and the person started to transfer the remains into the urn. Lastly, we each picked a piece of the skull and place inside to signify the head is on top and followed by the rest of the parts of his body.
My eldest sister then carry the urn to the place my father was assigned to. My second sister and I both had impressions on going to the same place before but could not remember if my grandma was placed here. To find my grandma's ashes was one of the task we have to do if lets say my ancestors would want a shift of place.
We saw the person shifted the other urns in the same row and somehow squeezed my father's urn into the row. We took a look at the surroundings and we were on our way home.
At our neighbourhood, my met the auntie who told us that my father leaves 3 meals for us by choosing that time to part with us. She told us to go cut our hair on this day if not will need to wait for 100 days to be over before we can get our hair cut. She also told us to buy 七色花 and lemon cut into 7 slices to bathe 意思意思 signifying getting rid of the bad luck we were under when we were having the wake.
Elders told us to buy sweets for friends and colleagues who have sent their regards down as a way of thanking them. I followed my second sister to Fairprice to buy the sweets. We passed by a bread shop and bought a few new breads to lighten the atmosphere back at home. We gathered together for awhile in the living room to chat and then I went to bathe and I think I went to sleep quite early to make up for the lost sleep in the past few days.
